Last night my grandfather from my mother’s side passed away. My mom, my brother, and I were just coming back from a great hiking trip when we got the news, and my family has been absolutely devastated. Though my grandfather was getting old, he was nowhere near old enough where his passing could be considered expected. The past 24 hours have been very heart-wrenching, and we’ve all been feeling very lost. I’ve been wanting to write some of my thoughts and memories of my grandfather in a place that is permanent and that I can easily look back on, which is why I’m making this post.

My grandfather was easily among the most amazing men I’ve gotten to know in my life. He was intelligent, competent, and wise. He was absurdly courageous and was a fighter, yet he was one of the kindest men and had the biggest heart one could have. In the past, India has had several cultural practices that were seriously sexist and very horrible. My grandfather would always do what he believed was right, even when doing so went against the strongest cultural practices of his time. He would ensure that his daughters, daughters-in-law, grand-daughters, and all the women in his family were always respected and treated fairly. Even when the entire village he lived in would condemn him for going against cultural practices, he would hold his ground and practice what he believed in. The result of this has been that the women and men in my family from his side have grown into the strongest, most morally admirable people I know.

My mom also tells me stories about how much my grandfather has always helped others, even those outside of his family. When my grandfather would go to work in the city, if he ever met other individuals that were in a tough spot or struggling to get by, he would invite them to stay with him in his small apartment and would share meals with them and talk with them. He always wanted to see others happy, and anyone that was around him couldn’t help but contract his jolly spirit.

My grandfather always taught me to be happy through the toughest times. My earliest memory with him was this time during the monsoon season. I was very little, probably between the age of 7 and 9. We were outside walking home from some place, and it was raining so hard that the water had come close to my father’s thighs. It may have been higher or lower, I don’t fully remember, but it was definitely the case that the depth of the water was almost greater than I was tall. My grandfather was carrying me on his shoulders as we walked home and the rain poured, and the water that my grandfather’s legs were submerged in was very dirty. I remember crying to my grandfather and telling him that I hated this rain. My grandfather then laughed his deep laugh, and exclaimed with this huge grin on his face, “You hate the rain? I LOVE THE RAIN!”, and then started jumping and splashing forward through the water. Even I started giggling. We made it home safely and spent very long washing ourselves. My grandfather told me that in times like this, you have the option to be afraid, to think about how bad things are, and cry, or you have the option to laugh at the challenge of the situation, fight the challenge with a smile on your face, and enjoy the beautiful experience that life is. My grandfather has practiced this principle his entire life. My family has gone through several sad incidents throughout everyone’s lives, but my grandfather has always been the pillar that keeps us moving forward and together as a family. With my grandfather, everyone in my family felt as if there was no challenge that could take us down.

Though this time is tough on me, even more tough on my mother, and even more tough on my grandmother, I know that we’ll all be able to get through this. My grandfather has trained us well to deal with grief, and his lessons and memories will help us push forward. He will be remembered by every member of his family through the principles he taught us, he will be remembered by every individual whose life he has transformed by being by their side, and he will be remembered by his society through all the positive impacts he has had through his charity work and service.

One thing I do regret is not talking to him enough. This last year has been very, very busy for me in college, and in the process, I didn’t make the time to call my grandfather much. When I did call, it was typically short, and there wasn’t much detailed conversation. Now that I can’t call him, I want nothing more than to be able to sit with him and just hear him talk to me again. To you guys, please don’t make this mistake. Talk to the people you care about frequently, as time with them is not something that is ever guaranteed. Though this saddens me, I am happy about the memories that I do have with him, and the conversations we have had. My grandfather will always be a great role model of mine, and I hope to live my life in a way that would make him proud. Thank you for everything you taught me Naana. I miss you very much.